Domestically Challenged

So today, I cooked garlic mashed potatoes, and even peeled the potatoes (the first one took a little while, but I got the hang of it).  And I baked a custard pie.  Oddly, I feel more accomplished today than I felt when I graduated from college.  I really need to learn how to cook.

::tangent alert:: Wow, I just watched my mom take a swig from the sparkling pomegranate juice bottle we bought from Trader Joe's.  And then when Garrett questioned her, she said, "Well, that's what you were gonna do."  No answer for that one.

In other news, I'm seriously thinking about switching to WordPress for the new year.  Might encourage me to blog more consistently if I have a site I like.  I just run out of things to say sometimes (hard to believe, I know).  But I do a lot of journalling and writing already, so blogging takes a backseat.

This weekend has been crazy.  I'm beginning to get worn down.

Wednesday - worked in LA, cleaned the house, home prayer meeting
Thursday - drove to Beverly Hills and back, drove to Gardena and back, worked, guests for dinner
Friday - worked, shopping with Garrett, ROCK Christmas party
Saturday - Aryn's graduation breakfast, cooking (right now), KALEO Christmas party
Sunday - Sunday School & 2nd service, Christmas program
Monday - KALEO small group social

Then again, my boss has four parties in one night, so I guess I have nothing to complain about.  ::sigh::  I really need to get back into the gym.

Your opinions...

Funny moment of the day: My mom just asked me if I liked "koala pie" (she meant Kahlua).

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Maybe it's because I've been looking at website layouts for work, but I've become increasingly discontent with my blog. I tried a new layout earlier today, but it was too frustrating trying to customize it the way I wanted (I really don't like editing html). I've thought about making it more of a personal website--a blog, about, resume, contact info, portfolio of work. Then again, perhaps it's easier to just maintain a simple blog. Anyways, I could:

a) find a new blogspot layout and try to customize it myself.

b) switch to WordPress.

c) use Lifeyo.

d) stick to what I've got.

What do you guys think should I do?

Food Adventures: Penang Malaysian Cuisine

Dad was kind enough to finish his rounds and drive me to Koreatown today. On the way, we discussed the possibility of stopping off in El Monte--directly off the 60 freeway--to try Little Malaysia Restaurant. I haven't had good Malaysian food in a while (since London, strangely enough), so I've really been craving something, anything related to Malaysian cuisine.

After a productive meeting in LA, we headed back towards home. Using Dad's trusty Blackberry, we Yelp'd the location of the restaurant. Fortunately, Dad thought to call ahead and find out whether or not they close for the afternoon. And sure enough, they were just about to close. So we changed plans (and freeways) and headed towards West Covina. Dad is something of a human compass; so despite my faulty sense of direction (I'm completely lost without a GPS), we made it to Penang Malaysian Cuisine.

The restaurant is tucked into the corner of the very randomly-located Hong Kong plaza (South Glendora and Vine). Since it was already almost three in the afternoon, the place was pretty much deserted. Not that we minded--Dad doesn't like crowds, and as long as the food's good, I don't care either way. Needless to say, Dad and I were the only patrons in the restaurant.

Penang Malaysian Cuisine is definitely a far cry from the usual humidity, dustiness, and buzz of the open-air hawker restaurants. But I don't expect a southern California restaurant to exactly replicate my travel experiences. It was clean, quiet, and nicely decorated; the ambience was somewhere between a modern Thai restaurant and a Mexican cantina (if you can imagine such a place).

I think I surprised the waitress because I ordered without a menu: teh ice, roti canai, satay, and char kway teow. She actually asked me if I was Malaysian. I suspect most people just look at the pictures and point at what they want, or "point and click" as my dad calls it. Weirdly enough, the waitress is Thai, the cooks are Chinese and Mexican, and the owners are Burmese.

I don't think exported cuisines will ever be as good or authentic as the original, but the roti was still pretty good. It was flaky and thin and the sauce tasted almost exactly like what they served us in Penang. Dad had never had real roti before, so I was pleased that he finally got to try it (I'm dying to take him to Penang myself).

The satay came out shortly after; we ordered combination chicken and beef. Dad couldn't help saying over and over, "it's the best satay I've ever had." And he's tried a lot of different satay. It brought back very fond memories of trying satay from the vendor off the side of the road on the way to Tesco in Penang. The meat has a nice sweet glaze and a smoky flavor, and the sauce that came with it was great. Those who know my dad know that he's a sauce person; I suspect the sauce is what won him over.

Finally, we split the char kway teow. The noodles were actually the kind normally used in pad thai, so that was a little disappointing, and it wasn't as flavorful as I was hoping. It did have a spicy after-kick. I think it's probably pretty hard to match the char kway teow I've had in Malaysia, but it was still edible.

I was telling Dad about how people in Penang are fiercely proud of their food. Although I was only there for three weeks, by the end of the trip, even I was ready to defend Penang's cuisine against anyone from KL or elsewhere. It's been over a year now, and I still miss all of the food and all of my friends in Malaysia. I wasn't blown away by this restaurant, but it was still really fun to go adventuring with Dad and re-eat some good memories.

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Penang Malaysian Cuisine

971 South Glendora Ave.

West Covina, CA 91790

(626) 338-6138

Sun-Th 11:00 am - 10:00 pm

Fri-Sat 11:00 am - 10:30 pm

For those who might be interested, they also give you a 10% discount, a song, and a free ice kacang (think shaved ice) for your birthday.

DBC: Shall We Dance?

My friend Aubrie linked this video on FB and I was curious enough to watch. President Dr. Barry Corey (also known affectionately as DBC), discusses the no-dance policy and community standards/contract issue during a Biola chapel. I think he displays a lot of wisdom as well as a healthy sense of humor. Shawdy fire burning on the dance floor...

Comma

ONE WORD: Comma

I hate the overuse of commas, as well as the incorrect use of commas. People use them as an excuse to be long-winded. Or as a way to skirt the real issue--to be vague or indefinite. Sometimes, you just have to say what you mean.

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Usually when I do OneWord, I don't bother reading what everyone else has written. But today, for some inexplicable reason, I did. Some of them are incredibly entertaining, others are completely off topic. Interestingly enough, I noticed many people mistook "comma" for "coma." Is it careless reading or ignorance? Check it out here.

Call me a nerd, but I love grammar. So few people these days understand proper grammar; I'm probably included in that category. More often than not, we see celebrities on TV abusing it mercilessly (to the point where I have to change the channel--it's that painful).

Last week, I was sorting through some of my old schoolwork from elementary school when I stumbled upon my Daily Oral Language composition book. Basically, the teacher put up three or four sentences on the board, complete with grammar mistakes. We were required to copy them down, correcting them as we scribbled onto our wide-ruled paper. That was how we learned correct grammar. I don't remember learning a lot of hard and fast rules about what makes a sentence work. We listened to the sound of each sentence, the clarity of the words and ideas, the fluidity of the words off our immature tongues.

In sixth grade, I did Academic Pentathlon (again, I'm a nerd). The legendary Coach Cooper was probably the first person who taught me how to really write. She taught us to organize our thoughts, to construct an argument, to support our ideas. Then in seventh grade, Mrs. Campbell taught us to "show not tell," to be descriptive and colorful and visual in our writing. Mrs. Hertzig in ninth grade taught us sentence diagramming and showed us how to construct more complicated sentence combinations. And several of my Biola professors (Buck, John Mosqueda, Tamara Welter) taught me a lot about editing and refining my writing.

I think what fascinates me the most about grammar is that it's such a powerful tool, and yet it's so widely neglected. We may appreciate it in its various forms: we enjoy reading good books, we laugh at cleverly-worded advertisements, we arrange our schedules to watch excellently-scripted TV shows. But do we ever take the time to think how important a parenthetical can be, or how much a couple of m-dashes can add? How often do we think about the importance of subject-verb agreement? Do we appreciate that a misplaced comma can completely change the tone and thought of a sentence? Do we acknowledge that some of most powerful people in our day and age wield their power through the written and spoken word?

We sometimes complain about international students having better English grammar than those of us who grew up speaking English as our first language. Grammar, however, does not come intuitively. We often understand grammar through years of experience--reading, writing, hearing, and speaking the language. We know how to use it, how to navigate in the grammatical world of English. But try learning the grammar of another language--Chinese, Japanese, Hebrew, Spanish--and it's suddenly complicated, convoluted, and foreign. It's no longer intuitive.

Language is, perhaps, one of the things that convinces me that there is a God who created the universe and who sustains all things. The ability of human beings to manipulate language, to construct sentences and paragraphs and books, to communicate through combinations of letters and characters (I can hear Ariel now, "Lynnette, I need to consult you on a matter of semiotics")--who can explain that?

Today's Twittering, Facebooking, socially-networked and Blackberry-dependent culture has shown us a lot about grammar and about writing. We bookmark someone's blog because a) they have access to the information we want or b) they write in such a way to capture our attention and affections (by this I mean emotions, passions, interests). On one hand, our short snippet and tiny keyboard platforms have lead to the abuse and complete ransacking of our grammatical structures. I think MTV culture has only added to the dissolution of English grammar.

At the same time, the need for people to become adept communicators is overwhelming. Whether in corporate business or a simple site in the blogosphere, our increasingly shrinking, globalized world requires that we have people who can write--people who understand that grammar is the fuel needed to give power to their words. So next time you read a great book, or bookmark an awesome blog, be inspired by the beauty of good grammar. And don't forget to how to use a comma.

Testimony

Just as a follow-up to my last post on Jin:

I should be asleep...

This evening at ROCK, we talked about the sufficiency of God's grace, particularly in suffering--times of the "thorn in the flesh" (I'm not going through anything as difficult or painful as that, but I am learning what it means to really depend on the Lord for each day). So Tony asked the question, "Are you aware of God's grace during times of difficulty?" But I think it's appropriate to ask, "Are you aware of God's grace each and every day?"

We talked about how God comforts us (2 Cor. 1:3-4), delivers us (2 Cor. 1:8-10), and shows us how He is at work (2 Cor. 7:6-9). One ROCKer suggested that we can experience God's grace in times when He allows us to feel His presence. And then I mentioned that sometimes I read or hear words (from the Bible, from a wise friend, etc.) that seem perfect for my situation--as Tony said, a "word from God."

After our lesson, we broke up into pairs to discuss the lesson and pray for each other. As luck (or "destiny"--providence?) would have it, I ended up with George. It was so encouraging to see how much my "little brother" has grown in the Lord, in discipline, and even just in his view of life. I was able to share some of my own recent anxieties, and the words he gave me were full of both wisdom and concern. Even his prayer for me was a real blessing.

And then when I came home, one of the girls that I'm teamed up with for projects at work messaged me. She gave me a lot of encouraging and sage advice about adjusting to work and finding out what God is calling me to do. Maybe even the feeling of, "Oh, I'm not alone," made me feel a lot better about what I'm doing. I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store for me and how He will direct my life, and I'm thankful for the grace He has shown me even tonight.

On self-control

In Kaleo Sunday School, we've been studying the book of Titus. In Chapter 2, we discussed the importance of teaching "what accords with sound doctrine"--the behavior and lifestyle which is above reproach (2: 1). Paul repeated emphasizes the need for Christians to be self-controlled (or 'sensible'). There are so many areas of my life where I lack self-control; I seem to always be coming before the Lord asking forgiveness for my constant failure. This week, in fact, I've been a little discouraged at my own shortcomings.

As I've had the topic of self-control on my mind, I've also been thinking about what it means to live a life that "adorn[s] the doctrine of God our Savior" (2:10). It seems to me that sound doctrine and a holy lifestyle are inseparable in Paul's mind. Born-again Christians, as Kevin so deftly put it, will naturally put on the good deeds that are characteristic of one who has been transformed by the saving work of Jesus Christ. But that transforming work is--for all intents and purposes--built on the foundation of God's Word. So what we teach, whether or not our doctrine is sound, and how much we read the Bible are all incredibly important.

Okay, back to the main point. I was thinking about self-control and its relationship with holiness, and about my lack of (probably both) self-control (and holiness). Another point Paul reiterates in his letter to Titus is the importance of being above reproach for the sake of the reputation of the Gospel. What can I do, I asked myself, to pursue self-control and holiness in my life? How can my life be an adornment for the Gospel? Anyways, with all of these thoughts floating around inside my head, I came across an article in one of Piper's books, in which he writes:

That is the key to purity and holiness, the key to lasting effectiveness in all of life: constant contemplation of the glory of Christ.

Maybe this wasn't entirely the answer I was looking for, but it struck me as a particularly practical approach to my problem (I apologize, that was WAY too alliterative). To contemplate the glory of Christ is to bring my perspective back into focus; to fill my mind with sound doctrine--about Christ, about my salvation, about who I am in relationship to Him--and let that motivate how I live. When I have a correct view of God, then I can also have a right view of self-control and holiness.

So then, what does it mean to contemplate the glory of Christ? In what ways do you contemplate the glory of Christ?

Job-related...

...sort of anyways. I've been researching and listening to a whole new genre of music lately--expanding my audial horizons I suppose. Stumbled upon this (though it's not entirely coincidental). Have a listen.

I'm curious; what do you guys think?

For those of you in the UK who are interested in seeing him perform, Jin will be in London this October. I was told to invite you. So click here for more info.

What I Like...

...right now. I couldn't think of anything to blog about. So these are the things I'm into right now--a snapshot of my life at this moment in time, and in no particular order...

1. The Big Bang Theory (CBS)






















I blame it on Ariel--she totally got me hooked. I love how smartly-written and painfully-awkward this show is. I've only watched Season 1, but I can watch these episodes over and over and never get sick of them. And since then, I've managed to get Samson, Stephen, and I don't know who else enjoying this awesomely nerdy comedy.

2. Leverage (TNT)




























This show is actually (or at least, I think it is) an American remake of the British show "Hustle," which I loved. It has a lot of the same elements--each character has their own special skills and roles, each episode shows a different con (carried out against other con artists), etc. But TNT's version, rather than being a re-do of Hustle, works well as an American adaptation. My favorite part of Leverage is the characters--they're distinct, unique, and entertaining. It's a very smartly written show. And the comic relief isn't so bad either.


3. Snail Mail

I love snail mail. I love getting it, and I love sending it complete with colorful paper, sticky envelopes, and ugly postage stamps. Maybe it's because I'm an English geek and I LOVE paper (I'm not kidding about this--I can spend ALL DAY in a paper or stationary store). Or maybe it's because I'm suffering from a bad case of wanderlust, so sending letters and postcards to Malaysia, Japan, Hong Kong, China, and England is my way of sending part of me abroad to all the friends I miss so dearly.*


4. Books

Again, I love paper, in all its lovely forms. Frankly, it was hard to simply enjoy reading during college; the constraints of deadlines, papers, and exams sucked a lot of the joy out of reading. So this summer I was determined to get more pleasure reading in. And I'm always looking for good things to read (give me suggestions people!).

Ariel's list is probably twice the length of mine, but so far this summer:

- From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankwiler (E.L. Konigsburg)
- The View from Saturday (E.L. Konigsburg)
- Jennifer, Hecate, Macbeth, William McKinley, and Me, Elizabeth (E.L. Konigsburg)
- The Namesake (Jhumpa Lahiri)
- The Bonesetter's Daughter (Amy Tan)
- My Sister, My Love (Joyce Carol Oates)**
- Disciplines of a Godly Woman (Barbara Hughes)
- A Wild Sheep Chase (Haruki Murakami)
- Rant (Chuck Palahniuk)

"On deck" and "in progress":

- The Screwtape Letters (C.S. Lewis)
- Half of a Yellow Son (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)
- The Treasure Principle (Randy Alcorn)
- A Godward Life (John Piper)
- The Lies of Locke Lamora (Scott Lynch)
- River Town (Peter Hessler)

5. MMA & Martial Arts movies

The other day, I dropped everything I was doing in order to watch a SpikeTV special on my favorite UFC fighter. Daddy and I like to watch Pancrase highlights on TV sometimes. I've recently watched movies like Chocolate (a muay thai movie with JeeJa Yanin, Hiroshi Abe), Ip Man (Donnie Yen), and So Close (Shu Qi, Zhao Wei, Karen Mok).

6. Music

At the moment, I really like "Manos al Aire" by Nelly Furtado and "SheWolf" by Shakira. We introduced my dad to Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad." That was umm...interesting...I only really like the girl's part of that song. I'm really addicted to Yuna Ito's "Mahaloha" (a collaboration with Micro from Def Tech). And I frequently have the theme song from Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea stuck in my head.

7. Top Gear (BBC America); Warehouse 13 (Syfy); Primeval (both)

I was struggling to think of a seventh to add to my list, but Garrett helped me out. I just recently discovered how much I really enjoy the show Top Gear, which is basically a long-running British show about all things vehicularly-related. They've done crazy things like power-sliding in lorries, racing the big rig trucks (one had a wedding cake, one had a car, and the last had a massive pile f straw at one end with a heater at the other), and backing up the big rigs on an incline, with the drivers' prized treasures directly behind them on the hill. They try to build their own amphibious car-boats and take them across the English Channel. I love "The Stig" and all the jokes they make about him. They even have a segment where they "put a star in a reasonably-priced car." Basically, I never get bored watching Top Gear.

Warehouse 13 and Primeval are sort of my guilty pleasure sci-fi shows. I just realized that it sounds like I watch a lot more TV than I do. Part of it might be because I've moved back home, so now I can actually watch shows, and part of it is because that is how Garrett and I do "sibling bonding." We were both really busy this summer, going out a lot, running around; TV time was the only time we got to sit and enjoy something together. I'm a little sad and lonely now that Garrett's back at Biola.

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I guess in the end, this was a really random (and failed) attempt at a blog entry. Sometimes, there's too much to say and not enough willpower to put fingers to keyboard. I will try my best to be more consistent.

*Blogger's note: SEND ME SNAIL MAIL Y'ALL!
**This one took me forever to finish.

Morning Muse-ings.

Those of you who know me well know that I'm a night owl. Even when I was little, Mom and Dad had a hard time getting me to sleep. They said it was like I was afraid to miss anything fun that might happen during the night. Babies who don't want to sleep tend to cry; on more than one occassion, I brought my mother to tears. And my dad memorized the entire hymnbook trying to sing me to sleep.

Maybe I'm not as much of a night owl as I am a stubborn mule (I didn't want to leave room for bad wordplay here). I've always like the night better than the day--going out late, staying up late, enjoying either the mysterious excitement or the peaceful quiet of the night. But since graduating, I really have no valid reason for staying up late, other than, that I like to.

Several days ago, my writing buddy Edmund suggested I figure out what time my "muse" (read: writing-inspiration-fairy-thing) likes to come out and play. In other words, if I want to be more disciplined about writing every day, I needed to discover when my ideas flow the best, when I have the most motivation to sit down and write. Well, up until now, I've been quite frustrated. It seemed like my muse is something of a loner kid, who only grudingly comes outside to mingle with the neighborhood children. And then halfway through, throws a tantrum and storms back inside.

So I decided I had to make some changes. I've started heading up to my bedroom around 11 or 12 every evening, spending time journalling (which I haven't done in ages) and reading. And I've been getting up around 8:30 or 9 every morning--early for me--to do my devotions and my writing exercises.

I'm amazed 1) that I can actually get up in the morning and 2) that my "muse" is more cooperative in the morning. I'm a lot more motivated to spend my day productively, and I'm a lot more disciplined. Today, for instance, I wrote over 600 words of a short story.* Yesterday I spent a few hours researching and planning work-related materials. And I cleaned the house for home prayer meeting.

Anyways, I don't really have a point to all this. I just wanted to note that maybe I'm beginning to appreciate mornings a little more.


*Blogger's note: Don't ask, you probably won't ever get to read it.

On my mind lately....

Taken from Publishing Executive, "9 Things I've Learned About Magazines by Blogging" by Rex Hammock)

No one will ever collect NationalGeographic.com. OK, here is my suggestion to those in the magazine industry who haven’t figured out how to compare magazines with the Web (see point #2). The magazines we love are not merely things we read and enjoy; they are expressions of who we are. We display them on coffee tables and desks the way people wear designer labels on clothes or purchase one model of car over another. People collect magazines, trade them and display them on decorative racks or in frames hung on the wall. Magazines provide us with mementos of our life’s journey. They allow us to savor our passions and save special moments. The magazines we love are so important to us, they make us feel guilty to consider throwing them away. The Web is a wonderful thing when you want to drink information from a fire hose. But the magazines people love are like bottles of fine wine: Even if you have to wait a little before opening it, there’s something a bit exciting about the anticipation.

I've been thinking a lot about the magazine industry and what potential there may be for new publications. Last night--perhaps because of Garrett's bad mood or his incredibly stark sense of logic--I was feeling rather discouraged about the prospects. But sometimes, you stumble upon bits of wisdom that reinvest your passions with life and hope. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but magazine is what I love and what I want to do. Sometimes, though, I forget why I love it and why I am on the course I am on.

In other news--although not completely unrelated--I've been learning a lot lately about what it means to trust God--what it looks like specifically in my own life. He has taught me that when He does something is just as (if not more) significant as what He does. I cannot presume to know the mind of God, but--as Job learned (thanks Tony)--I must turn to Him as my only answer. I am learning how small my view of God is, and how much greater He wants to be in my eyes.

At the beginning, it was hard; I felt like I was watching Him answer prayers for those around me. I was excited when Elizabeth got the Americorp job, thrilled when Ariel got accepted for grad school, full of joy when Janelle told me how she found her sense of direction up in Redding. But (the jealous, untrusting, impatient, faithless) part of me said, "When is it my turn?" And of course, I had to eat my words, because God has done for me immesaurably beyond what I could ever have asked for or imagined. It's still new and big and scary and overwhelming, but I believe that God will give me the grace, wisdom, and inspiration I need to accomplish what He has given me to do. So for now, I rejoice in His faithfulness and sovereignty.

An Interesting Quote

"Whether you take a doughnut hole as blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit."

- Haruki Murakami (A Wild Sheep Chase)

Stop and be Productive

"You don't always have this opportunity in life. Right now, you can stop and see which way God wants you to go. Sometimes in life, you don't have that chance, because things get busy and you just have to keep on going and doing what you can, without stopping to think about it much. Take this as an opportunity to stop and ask God what He wants you to do."

I wish I had gotten it word for word, but this is as close as I can remember it (Ariel, help?). So today, Ariel and I went out for lunch with our professor Dr. Malandra and his wife Junko. We had a really good time talking and laughing and enjoying the conversation. Dr. Malandra is one of the professors who has given us so much encouragement and so many good memories over the last couple of years, so it was really great to get to spend time with him and Junko outside of the classroom.

I've received a lot of advice from people recently--my cousin Rachel (who is amazing and housed us this weekend in norcal), Buck (another favorite professor), my parents, and many good friends. I'm doing my best to follow their sage advice, and I'm also trying to continue trust in the Lord's provision for me. But what Junko said to us really struck me as profound. It could be the way she said it or the wisdom behind it, but her words really comforted me.

Others have told me that I should enjoy my summer (because once you work, holidays are less frequent), or that things are just slower in this kind of economy. Perhaps I have this feeling that my life has been put on hold until I can find an internship or until I start a grad school program. Junko's words made me feel that my life is still moving, still productive--I want to see this as an opportunity for God to speak to me and show me what direction He is taking me in. I realize I am a product of my culture; I always want to be active and busy and on-the-go. Maybe it is a spiritual discipline in itself to learn to stop, to be silent, to be still before the Lord. Maybe that's the most productive activity of all.

My "popcorn roll" with lobster and avocado.

Ariel's unagi "samurai roll"'

The lovely Junko with the Haiwaiian roll.

Ariel, me, and Dr. Malandra with our tempura ice cream.

Lists, Lists, Lists

OneWord: palm

Palm pilots. Technology is amazing nowadays. Dad just got a smart phone--a blackberry, to be exact; we just taught him how to text message. Only problem, his fingers are too fat for the buttons. He can't type anything.

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I didn't mean to keep doing the OneWord exercises, but I can't help but wonder what the new word for each day might be. It does depress me though; I feel like my creativity is waning faster than even I expected.

After dinner this evening, Chelsea and I decided to go to Barnes and Nobles so she could spend her shiny new gift card. Strangely enough, we caught a solar eclips--I mean, Justin, working in the Music/DVD section. English majors have a way of bumping into one another in bookstores, I suppose. Back to the point. After socializing with Justin, Chelsea and I immediately whipped out our pocket moleskine notebooks to find our recommended books and to add titles and authors to our already lengthy wishlists.

As we were browsing along the aisles of B&N's, I was thinking to myself (actually, now that I think about it, I might have said it out loud to Chelsea), "How do people ever decide what books to buy? There are just so many to choose from." I mean, there's a plethora of genres: Science Fiction, Literature (does that mean old and dead?), Literary Fiction, Non-fiction, Historical, Ethnic, Travel, Self-help, Inspirational, the list goes on and on. Then once you pick a genre, you (or at least I do) become completely overwhelmed by the vast array of options, hardback and paper back, anniversary edition and the author's definitive edition. Me personally--I just go for the ones with the cool covers, whatever happens to catch my eye.

Of course, the arrangement of stores like Borders and B&N's caters to the popular authors with large followings--the John Grishams and Dan Browns and Janet Evanovichs. The people who read their books can go directly to the first few aisles to find the latest; they simply look for the name of their favorite author. The covers even use the same type and layout scheme so they're easier to recognize. I don't doubt that they are very talented writers, but how do people find books that are worth reading penned by someone lesser known (or virtually unknown)? How do they find books of true quality and craftsmanship, not simply good entertainment?

I was considering this puzzling question when I got home tonight. I have two or three people I know who are avid readers and have discriminating taste--people like Ariel (my lovely creative writing roommate) or Buck (my writing professor)--who I often go to for recommendations. Depending on what genre I'm looking for, I think I have at least one person I can ask for suggestions. But even though they're rarely wrong about their selections, I still want to know how other people (the more persnickety readers) choose books for their reading lists. At the same time, I'd like to find books that are shaped by me--by the things I'm interested in or the styles I like.

I started looking at different bookstore websites (try Powell's Books, Borders, Barnes and Nobles) to see their recommendations. I wasn't overly enthused by their featured authors (it's the online version of their storefront layout) or impressed with their bestseller lists. I did, however, stumble upon a different set of lists that might prove more helpful in my search for good books. Each year, new books are given awards for excellence in their respective genres. Here is a small sampling:

-Children's Books - Newberry Medal, Young Reader's Choice Award

-General Non-fiction - National Book Award, Pulitzer Prize

-Literary Fiction - Nobel Prize for Literature, PEN/Faulkner Award, Nat'l Book Critics Circle Award

-Mystery - Edgar Award, Gold Dagger

-Sci-Fi & Fantasy - Hugo Award, Nebula Award

You can search for compiled lists of all the winners, past and present. It may not be a perfect match, but I think it at least gives a good picture of what has been generally acknowledged as good writing. I think it will take awhile before I develop my own way of technique for finding what I want to read. In any case, my list of books to read keeps growing longer and longer. Meanwhile, my shelf-space, and my budget, just can't keep up. Maybe it's time to get a library card.

People change.

OneWord: Coral

Coral is a color, but can it portray a feeling? I think of lipstick, or blush. Or ocean--Australia, perhaps. Hundreds of years of living species accumulating and growing to create something beautiful. To create a color, a feeling.

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That was truly random. I had nothing to say about coral.

In other news, tonight was an interesting night. I drove out to Irvine and had dinner at Fukada, a Japanese restaurant near the Spectrum. The unagi was tender and sweet and yummy, and it went perfectly with the rice. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was also really good to spend time with a dear old friend from G.A.'s. Back then we had a group of girls who were crazy about basketball; we wore sweats all the time and thought ourselves tomboys. Since then, we've gone to different schools and different jobs and varying levels of girliness--and mostly lost touch with one other. So it was really good to renew an old friendship. Even though we've both grown up a lot, some things never change. We could still laugh and talk as though those 5 or 6 years never happened, only we worry about new things and can share the fascinating experiences we've had. But somehow, the friendship still seems the same.

I was chatting to Edmund the other day about change, about how inevitable it is and how scary it can be. He said change is something that we have to learn to deal with in our lives, and that we have to depend on God in those times of uncertainty or frustration. Tonight I was thinking about how strange it is that I'm 21 and entering adulthood and the working world (or, trying to at least). It's strange that I'm done with undergraduate studies and many of my friends are getting married; some are even having children. So much time has passed since I was in G.A. or AOK. So many things change within the course of even a year or two. I think this is particularly true of friendships.

Some friendships, it seems, change and evolve in such a way that the relationship grows from both sides. As each person interacts with the other, the things that change about them from day-to-day are subtle and perhaps less noticeable. Other relationships seem one-sided. I don't mean in terms of effort. More like, I'm changing and the other person doesn't seem to be, or I'm stagnant and the other person is dynamic. And I have some friendships that seem to be frozen in time, until I can thaw them out and develop them. I suppose there are even friendships where we just drift apart or lose touch all together. There are so many variables when it comes to people--time, distance, commitment, environment, vulnerability, extenuating circumstances--sometimes it's hard to tell who to invest in or which relationships will last.

Of course, there are times I'm completely disappointed, yet, at this very moment, I feel so blessed by so many people. I have a prayer partner in Singapore, brothers and sisters in Malaysia, students and friends in Hong Kong, my second home church in London, Lit Wits and roommates from Biola, and galvanting buddies (as my dad affectionately coined them) from elementary, junior high, and high school. On top of all that, there are former teachers, counsellors, and professors who still care about me and want to know how I'm doing. Sometimes I get really frustrated with human beings in general, but I think--or rather, hope--that God is developing in me a heart for the people He has placed in my life.

The other thing I'm learning is that I have to trust God that people can change. I want to believe that He can transform my heart and mind to be more like His. That Jesus can impact the lives of those I love and care for. My dad always jokes that we never really believe that God can change people. "Oh, that person won't ever change," is something we say inwardly or subconsciously, if not out loud. But I believe that God is always pursuing us, always at work in our lives. He made us malleable, flexible, teachable. We can change because God gave us the ability to do so. So in the end, people change.

One Word: Lazy

I did another one of those OneWord exercises. This is what I came up with in 60 seconds:

The summer is a lazy time of the year. You would think that the heat of day would make molecules knock against each other faster--that there would be more movement. Instead, everything slows down, lingers and simmers.

Maybe because it's summer, or maybe because it's a common human struggle--lately I've talked to a lot of different people about laziness. Summer is--for me, at least--the most difficult season to fight my propensity for being lazy. During the school year, I'm more like a workaholic, but whether it's the heat or the lack of immediate responsibility, I really enjoy doing nothing during summer. Perhaps I feel like I'm always rushing around, always busy, so I deserve a few glorious hours of stillness and inactivity.

This summer, however, is a little different from all its predecessors. First, this summer isn't necessarily a well-deserved holiday in preparation for another stressful semester. Second, there is some urgency for me to find some direction career-wise. Third, I believe that God appoints a time of rest and a time of work for us; it is our responsibility to learn how to balance them in a way that glorifies God.

For the next couple months, I want to make good use of the time I have, both for leisure and for work. As Sam always reminds me, "I don't want to waste my life." It's not so much about wasting my life, but about using my life as productively as possible for God's Kingdom.

The things I have been doing (including, but not limited to):
- Exercising regularly - Elizabeth and I have been getting together 3 or 4 times a week to go running or swimming. I think taking care of my health is as much of a spiritual discipline as anything else.
- Reading - If I want to be a good writer, I have to be an avid reader. I'm basically reading anything I can get my hands on. Recommendations are more than welcome.
- Building/maintaining relationships - Much to my surprise, I have been able to connect with good friends and reconnect with old ones, as well as keep in touch with international friends. That has been quite a blessing--I've been working hard to learn how to love people better, and I think I've been encouraged in return.

The things I would like to do (in no particular order):
- Write more - I need to write, write, write...and when I get tired of it, I need to write some more. Any ideas?
- Get an internship - Please pray for patience, wisdom, and God's timing.
- Learn to cook - I keep saying it, but I find it's hard to motivate myself to actually try it.
- Clean my room - This is another intimidating task. It entails everything from unpacking boxes of stuff from my dorm/apartment; cleaning out my closet, desk, and bureau; redecorating my walls; reorganizing all of my books; re-filing all of my papers; throwing out and donating everything else...oh the woes of a pack rat.
- Wash my car - I need to clean it out and get it washed.

I've been meaning to put together this list for awhile. The problem with putting things down is that you have to face them. But maybe that's what I need if I want to honor God with my time. Hopefully, the rest of this summer will be anything but lazy.

The Problem of Passion

This week, I was scrounging around my bookshelves for something new to read, and I stumbled on my brother's copy of Fahrenheit 451. I finished reading it last night, discovering that Garrett had bought the 50th anniversary edition complete with an afterword, a coda, and an interview with Ray Bradbury. A couple of the things he said really stood out to me. When asked about his novel, Bradbury said, "I wrote the book because I love writing. All my stories are written in bursts of passion." And about being a writer, he replied, "you're either in love with what you do, or you're not in love."

Coincidentally, the same night I finished Fahrenheit, I had also reconnected with Brandy, an old friend from junior high and high school. As we were catching up on everything from the last several years--school, relationships, future, life in general--the subject of work and passion came up. So I was thinking: what is passion?

Part of me envies the people I see around me who have a certain talent or a particular passion which they can earnestly pursue. Evaluating my own life, I could only think of two or three things about which (I think) I'm passionate.

1.) Passion for God. I want to be passionate for His Word. I want to align my will to His. I want to be moved by the things which move Him, to grieve over what causes Him sorrow and rejoice in what brings joy to His heart. I want to be passionately jealous for His glory. I want to passionately worship Him with my life. I want Jesus Christ to be my greatest, most evident, most intense passion.

2.) Passion for words. Perhaps this is why I related so well to Fahrenheit and to Bradbury's sentiments. Words have played such a significant role in my life. I have such an uneasy grasp on them, yet they have an uncanny, almost supernatural hold on me. I never cease to be amazed at the gift of language that God has created and blessed us with. Words have carried His message of love to us through the prophets, through Scripture, through prayer. They help us communicate ideas and perspectives, care and affection. I have always loved to read; I am beginning to love writing--something I find both intimidating and enthralling.

3.) Passion for food and travel. I love meeting people and tasting cultures. I love the adventure, the spontaneity, the broadening of my world. I could go on and on...

On the other hand, I have always struggled with my natural predilection towards dispassion (it's safer, somehow). I question whether we can actually choose our passions, or whether it's possible to develop specific interests into passions. How much of our passions are God-given, and how much is our own initiative? For example, I think there are times that I don't feel passionate about my relationship with the Lord, but the Christian life requires commitment regardless of my emotions. And I know I still have so much to learn as a writer; talent without discipline and hard work will get me nowhere. But can discipline and hard work truly translate into greater passion? That being said, the first two passions on my list are those I really wish to nurture.

Honestly, I don't think there's a simple answer to the question of passion--we cannot diminish God's sovereignty nor should we negate our own responsibility. Our passions reflect who we are and what is in our heart. I may not be able to say definitively that I have passion, but someday I pray that the Lord will commend me for being a good steward of the gifts, resources, and even passions, that He has so graciously granted me.

Dedicated to Edmund Ngo

HEARTBEAT

I could feel my heartbeat pounding inside my chest. I wondered how it felt to have a pacemaker control your heart, instead of raging teenage hormones. He was so cute.

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So, last night, my good friend Edmund and I were talking about returning to our blogs (aspiring writers must keep writing!). So Ed pulled up this nifty little site called One Word: it generates a word, then gives you 60 seconds to write whatever first comes to mind. You can submit and see what other people have written based on that single word.

I actually find it very difficult to write off the cusp. Being a slightly obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic sort of girl, I prefer to take my time to plan, craft and edit. This semester I took a course in novel-writing; I discovered just how difficult creative writing is and how many skills I still need to acquire.

The other comment Ed made was about the beauty of technology. Even though we are about 8,735 miles (14,058 km) away, we can still do fun things together. As an aside, I am so thankful for Edmund's friendship, faithfulness, and encouragement. I love having friends all over the world, and I can't wait to go back to Malaysia to visit. So Edmund, this post is dedicated to you.