The Problem of Passion

This week, I was scrounging around my bookshelves for something new to read, and I stumbled on my brother's copy of Fahrenheit 451. I finished reading it last night, discovering that Garrett had bought the 50th anniversary edition complete with an afterword, a coda, and an interview with Ray Bradbury. A couple of the things he said really stood out to me. When asked about his novel, Bradbury said, "I wrote the book because I love writing. All my stories are written in bursts of passion." And about being a writer, he replied, "you're either in love with what you do, or you're not in love."

Coincidentally, the same night I finished Fahrenheit, I had also reconnected with Brandy, an old friend from junior high and high school. As we were catching up on everything from the last several years--school, relationships, future, life in general--the subject of work and passion came up. So I was thinking: what is passion?

Part of me envies the people I see around me who have a certain talent or a particular passion which they can earnestly pursue. Evaluating my own life, I could only think of two or three things about which (I think) I'm passionate.

1.) Passion for God. I want to be passionate for His Word. I want to align my will to His. I want to be moved by the things which move Him, to grieve over what causes Him sorrow and rejoice in what brings joy to His heart. I want to be passionately jealous for His glory. I want to passionately worship Him with my life. I want Jesus Christ to be my greatest, most evident, most intense passion.

2.) Passion for words. Perhaps this is why I related so well to Fahrenheit and to Bradbury's sentiments. Words have played such a significant role in my life. I have such an uneasy grasp on them, yet they have an uncanny, almost supernatural hold on me. I never cease to be amazed at the gift of language that God has created and blessed us with. Words have carried His message of love to us through the prophets, through Scripture, through prayer. They help us communicate ideas and perspectives, care and affection. I have always loved to read; I am beginning to love writing--something I find both intimidating and enthralling.

3.) Passion for food and travel. I love meeting people and tasting cultures. I love the adventure, the spontaneity, the broadening of my world. I could go on and on...

On the other hand, I have always struggled with my natural predilection towards dispassion (it's safer, somehow). I question whether we can actually choose our passions, or whether it's possible to develop specific interests into passions. How much of our passions are God-given, and how much is our own initiative? For example, I think there are times that I don't feel passionate about my relationship with the Lord, but the Christian life requires commitment regardless of my emotions. And I know I still have so much to learn as a writer; talent without discipline and hard work will get me nowhere. But can discipline and hard work truly translate into greater passion? That being said, the first two passions on my list are those I really wish to nurture.

Honestly, I don't think there's a simple answer to the question of passion--we cannot diminish God's sovereignty nor should we negate our own responsibility. Our passions reflect who we are and what is in our heart. I may not be able to say definitively that I have passion, but someday I pray that the Lord will commend me for being a good steward of the gifts, resources, and even passions, that He has so graciously granted me.