People change.

OneWord: Coral

Coral is a color, but can it portray a feeling? I think of lipstick, or blush. Or ocean--Australia, perhaps. Hundreds of years of living species accumulating and growing to create something beautiful. To create a color, a feeling.

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That was truly random. I had nothing to say about coral.

In other news, tonight was an interesting night. I drove out to Irvine and had dinner at Fukada, a Japanese restaurant near the Spectrum. The unagi was tender and sweet and yummy, and it went perfectly with the rice. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was also really good to spend time with a dear old friend from G.A.'s. Back then we had a group of girls who were crazy about basketball; we wore sweats all the time and thought ourselves tomboys. Since then, we've gone to different schools and different jobs and varying levels of girliness--and mostly lost touch with one other. So it was really good to renew an old friendship. Even though we've both grown up a lot, some things never change. We could still laugh and talk as though those 5 or 6 years never happened, only we worry about new things and can share the fascinating experiences we've had. But somehow, the friendship still seems the same.

I was chatting to Edmund the other day about change, about how inevitable it is and how scary it can be. He said change is something that we have to learn to deal with in our lives, and that we have to depend on God in those times of uncertainty or frustration. Tonight I was thinking about how strange it is that I'm 21 and entering adulthood and the working world (or, trying to at least). It's strange that I'm done with undergraduate studies and many of my friends are getting married; some are even having children. So much time has passed since I was in G.A. or AOK. So many things change within the course of even a year or two. I think this is particularly true of friendships.

Some friendships, it seems, change and evolve in such a way that the relationship grows from both sides. As each person interacts with the other, the things that change about them from day-to-day are subtle and perhaps less noticeable. Other relationships seem one-sided. I don't mean in terms of effort. More like, I'm changing and the other person doesn't seem to be, or I'm stagnant and the other person is dynamic. And I have some friendships that seem to be frozen in time, until I can thaw them out and develop them. I suppose there are even friendships where we just drift apart or lose touch all together. There are so many variables when it comes to people--time, distance, commitment, environment, vulnerability, extenuating circumstances--sometimes it's hard to tell who to invest in or which relationships will last.

Of course, there are times I'm completely disappointed, yet, at this very moment, I feel so blessed by so many people. I have a prayer partner in Singapore, brothers and sisters in Malaysia, students and friends in Hong Kong, my second home church in London, Lit Wits and roommates from Biola, and galvanting buddies (as my dad affectionately coined them) from elementary, junior high, and high school. On top of all that, there are former teachers, counsellors, and professors who still care about me and want to know how I'm doing. Sometimes I get really frustrated with human beings in general, but I think--or rather, hope--that God is developing in me a heart for the people He has placed in my life.

The other thing I'm learning is that I have to trust God that people can change. I want to believe that He can transform my heart and mind to be more like His. That Jesus can impact the lives of those I love and care for. My dad always jokes that we never really believe that God can change people. "Oh, that person won't ever change," is something we say inwardly or subconsciously, if not out loud. But I believe that God is always pursuing us, always at work in our lives. He made us malleable, flexible, teachable. We can change because God gave us the ability to do so. So in the end, people change.