An Interesting Quote
Wednesday, July 22, 2009Stop and be Productive
Monday, July 20, 2009My "popcorn roll" with lobster and avocado.
Ariel's unagi "samurai roll"'
The lovely Junko with the Haiwaiian roll.
Ariel, me, and Dr. Malandra with our tempura ice cream.
Lists, Lists, Lists
Friday, July 17, 2009Palm pilots. Technology is amazing nowadays. Dad just got a smart phone--a blackberry, to be exact; we just taught him how to text message. Only problem, his fingers are too fat for the buttons. He can't type anything.
People change.
Thursday, July 16, 2009OneWord: Coral
Coral is a color, but can it portray a feeling? I think of lipstick, or blush. Or ocean--Australia, perhaps. Hundreds of years of living species accumulating and growing to create something beautiful. To create a color, a feeling.
#
That was truly random. I had nothing to say about coral.
In other news, tonight was an interesting night. I drove out to Irvine and had dinner at Fukada, a Japanese restaurant near the Spectrum. The unagi was tender and sweet and yummy, and it went perfectly with the rice. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was also really good to spend time with a dear old friend from G.A.'s. Back then we had a group of girls who were crazy about basketball; we wore sweats all the time and thought ourselves tomboys. Since then, we've gone to different schools and different jobs and varying levels of girliness--and mostly lost touch with one other. So it was really good to renew an old friendship. Even though we've both grown up a lot, some things never change. We could still laugh and talk as though those 5 or 6 years never happened, only we worry about new things and can share the fascinating experiences we've had. But somehow, the friendship still seems the same.
I was chatting to Edmund the other day about change, about how inevitable it is and how scary it can be. He said change is something that we have to learn to deal with in our lives, and that we have to depend on God in those times of uncertainty or frustration. Tonight I was thinking about how strange it is that I'm 21 and entering adulthood and the working world (or, trying to at least). It's strange that I'm done with undergraduate studies and many of my friends are getting married; some are even having children. So much time has passed since I was in G.A. or AOK. So many things change within the course of even a year or two. I think this is particularly true of friendships.
Some friendships, it seems, change and evolve in such a way that the relationship grows from both sides. As each person interacts with the other, the things that change about them from day-to-day are subtle and perhaps less noticeable. Other relationships seem one-sided. I don't mean in terms of effort. More like, I'm changing and the other person doesn't seem to be, or I'm stagnant and the other person is dynamic. And I have some friendships that seem to be frozen in time, until I can thaw them out and develop them. I suppose there are even friendships where we just drift apart or lose touch all together. There are so many variables when it comes to people--time, distance, commitment, environment, vulnerability, extenuating circumstances--sometimes it's hard to tell who to invest in or which relationships will last.
Of course, there are times I'm completely disappointed, yet, at this very moment, I feel so blessed by so many people. I have a prayer partner in Singapore, brothers and sisters in Malaysia, students and friends in Hong Kong, my second home church in London, Lit Wits and roommates from Biola, and galvanting buddies (as my dad affectionately coined them) from elementary, junior high, and high school. On top of all that, there are former teachers, counsellors, and professors who still care about me and want to know how I'm doing. Sometimes I get really frustrated with human beings in general, but I think--or rather, hope--that God is developing in me a heart for the people He has placed in my life.
The other thing I'm learning is that I have to trust God that people can change. I want to believe that He can transform my heart and mind to be more like His. That Jesus can impact the lives of those I love and care for. My dad always jokes that we never really believe that God can change people. "Oh, that person won't ever change," is something we say inwardly or subconsciously, if not out loud. But I believe that God is always pursuing us, always at work in our lives. He made us malleable, flexible, teachable. We can change because God gave us the ability to do so. So in the end, people change.
One Word: Lazy
Tuesday, July 14, 2009The summer is a lazy time of the year. You would think that the heat of day would make molecules knock against each other faster--that there would be more movement. Instead, everything slows down, lingers and simmers.
Maybe because it's summer, or maybe because it's a common human struggle--lately I've talked to a lot of different people about laziness. Summer is--for me, at least--the most difficult season to fight my propensity for being lazy. During the school year, I'm more like a workaholic, but whether it's the heat or the lack of immediate responsibility, I really enjoy doing nothing during summer. Perhaps I feel like I'm always rushing around, always busy, so I deserve a few glorious hours of stillness and inactivity.
This summer, however, is a little different from all its predecessors. First, this summer isn't necessarily a well-deserved holiday in preparation for another stressful semester. Second, there is some urgency for me to find some direction career-wise. Third, I believe that God appoints a time of rest and a time of work for us; it is our responsibility to learn how to balance them in a way that glorifies God.
For the next couple months, I want to make good use of the time I have, both for leisure and for work. As Sam always reminds me, "I don't want to waste my life." It's not so much about wasting my life, but about using my life as productively as possible for God's Kingdom.
The things I have been doing (including, but not limited to):
- Exercising regularly - Elizabeth and I have been getting together 3 or 4 times a week to go running or swimming. I think taking care of my health is as much of a spiritual discipline as anything else.
- Reading - If I want to be a good writer, I have to be an avid reader. I'm basically reading anything I can get my hands on. Recommendations are more than welcome.
- Building/maintaining relationships - Much to my surprise, I have been able to connect with good friends and reconnect with old ones, as well as keep in touch with international friends. That has been quite a blessing--I've been working hard to learn how to love people better, and I think I've been encouraged in return.
The things I would like to do (in no particular order):
- Write more - I need to write, write, write...and when I get tired of it, I need to write some more. Any ideas?
- Get an internship - Please pray for patience, wisdom, and God's timing.
- Learn to cook - I keep saying it, but I find it's hard to motivate myself to actually try it.
- Clean my room - This is another intimidating task. It entails everything from unpacking boxes of stuff from my dorm/apartment; cleaning out my closet, desk, and bureau; redecorating my walls; reorganizing all of my books; re-filing all of my papers; throwing out and donating everything else...oh the woes of a pack rat.
- Wash my car - I need to clean it out and get it washed.
I've been meaning to put together this list for awhile. The problem with putting things down is that you have to face them. But maybe that's what I need if I want to honor God with my time. Hopefully, the rest of this summer will be anything but lazy.
The Problem of Passion
Sunday, July 12, 2009Coincidentally, the same night I finished Fahrenheit, I had also reconnected with Brandy, an old friend from junior high and high school. As we were catching up on everything from the last several years--school, relationships, future, life in general--the subject of work and passion came up. So I was thinking: what is passion?
Part of me envies the people I see around me who have a certain talent or a particular passion which they can earnestly pursue. Evaluating my own life, I could only think of two or three things about which (I think) I'm passionate.
1.) Passion for God. I want to be passionate for His Word. I want to align my will to His. I want to be moved by the things which move Him, to grieve over what causes Him sorrow and rejoice in what brings joy to His heart. I want to be passionately jealous for His glory. I want to passionately worship Him with my life. I want Jesus Christ to be my greatest, most evident, most intense passion.
2.) Passion for words. Perhaps this is why I related so well to Fahrenheit and to Bradbury's sentiments. Words have played such a significant role in my life. I have such an uneasy grasp on them, yet they have an uncanny, almost supernatural hold on me. I never cease to be amazed at the gift of language that God has created and blessed us with. Words have carried His message of love to us through the prophets, through Scripture, through prayer. They help us communicate ideas and perspectives, care and affection. I have always loved to read; I am beginning to love writing--something I find both intimidating and enthralling.
3.) Passion for food and travel. I love meeting people and tasting cultures. I love the adventure, the spontaneity, the broadening of my world. I could go on and on...
On the other hand, I have always struggled with my natural predilection towards dispassion (it's safer, somehow). I question whether we can actually choose our passions, or whether it's possible to develop specific interests into passions. How much of our passions are God-given, and how much is our own initiative? For example, I think there are times that I don't feel passionate about my relationship with the Lord, but the Christian life requires commitment regardless of my emotions. And I know I still have so much to learn as a writer; talent without discipline and hard work will get me nowhere. But can discipline and hard work truly translate into greater passion? That being said, the first two passions on my list are those I really wish to nurture.
Honestly, I don't think there's a simple answer to the question of passion--we cannot diminish God's sovereignty nor should we negate our own responsibility. Our passions reflect who we are and what is in our heart. I may not be able to say definitively that I have passion, but someday I pray that the Lord will commend me for being a good steward of the gifts, resources, and even passions, that He has so graciously granted me.
Dedicated to Edmund Ngo
Saturday, July 11, 2009I could feel my heartbeat pounding inside my chest. I wondered how it felt to have a pacemaker control your heart, instead of raging teenage hormones. He was so cute.
So, last night, my good friend Edmund and I were talking about returning to our blogs (aspiring writers must keep writing!). So Ed pulled up this nifty little site called One Word: it generates a word, then gives you 60 seconds to write whatever first comes to mind. You can submit and see what other people have written based on that single word.
I actually find it very difficult to write off the cusp. Being a slightly obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic sort of girl, I prefer to take my time to plan, craft and edit. This semester I took a course in novel-writing; I discovered just how difficult creative writing is and how many skills I still need to acquire.
The other comment Ed made was about the beauty of technology. Even though we are about 8,735 miles (14,058 km) away, we can still do fun things together. As an aside, I am so thankful for Edmund's friendship, faithfulness, and encouragement. I love having friends all over the world, and I can't wait to go back to Malaysia to visit. So Edmund, this post is dedicated to you.